Maniac's First Day of Daycare

Maniac's First Day of Daycare

Toby is starting daycare today and I couldn't be happier. He is a German Foxhound, which I just learned this morning. He's a rescue and I was told he was an American Foxhound, Greyhound mix. However, the gentleman at daycare this morning informed me that he is for sure a German Foxhound, which I have no basis to counter. I believe him because I have no earthly idea and will not be investing time or money into searching out the truth. I spend enough money on this dopey dog as it is. 

The daycare is necessary for Toby. He is a high energy dog and even though he has the run of the fabrication shop, it's just not enough exercise to keep him stable. Walks don't really help and I don't have the time to give him a good, daily run. Daycare will be good for him and me in the long run, making for a happier owner and dog.

Honestly, that last part is just me being PC. I only care about myself when it comes to this dog. He's a maniac and he's around me all the time. This is a much needed, three times a week break for me. This dog does not come first in my world. The truth is, I like him...kinda.....during those times I don't want to open the doors and just let him run off into the sunset.

Organizing My Day, Learning a New Skill

Organizing My Day, Learning a New Skill

There is a disconnect for me when it comes to listing what needs to be done for the day and what actually gets done for the day. Let me be clear.....

I have no problem creating a list of things that need to be done. I even have the ability to prioritize items on that list. The problems arise as the day moves forward and I get lost in the business of the day, completely disregarding the list I spent time creating the night before. I regard this as lack of discipline on my part but maybe it's something different all together. Maybe I need to seek out a better way to prioritize my day so things that should be done, get done.

Running a company can be hard some days but it doesn't have to be if I can organize myself properly. If the boss can't get his shit together, how can I expect my employees to follow suit. My assertiveness has always been a work in progress and I am getting better. However, couple that lack of assertive nature with disorganization and the chaos becomes something of a normalcy. Which will ultimately bring the entire house of cards tumbling down.

I have always been a technician, usually working things out in my head, alone. Now my job is to get those thoughts down and help to create a system that will help the fabrication shop run quicker. I have to create the manual that can help to train our employees quicker as we grow. This is difficult for someone like myself who has always kept everything inside his own head, working through problems and getting the job done his own way.

My job has changed over the last couple years and it can be challenging at times because my new tools are now numbers, spreadsheets and budgets rather than tin snips, hammer and ruler. I still have fabrication duties but my job now is to learn how to steer the ship, how to manage others and the company, working to make it everything it can be. It's not about me anymore, it's about the whole and that scares me sometimes. There is a stress to all of it, but a good stress. These are those good anxieties my therapist is always talking about, not the ones trying to bring you down. These are the anxieties that will help make me the success I want to be.

Now to find the balance to organize my world and channel those energies into positive results. Easier said than done.

Heartbreak...

Heartbreak...

The ability to deal with it changes each and every time it happens. The instances are like snowflakes, one completely different than the next. There is no real recipe for dealing with the loss because the variables always change. 

Today I am getting by with a few musical ingredients and trying my best to get through the hours of pain that I know will fade over time. 

Tear Us Apart - Swear & Shake

Anya Marina - Candy #1

I Can't Find The Time - Willie Nelson

Can't Help Falling in Love - Beck

Test Post From Phone

I'm bored and decided to download the Squarespace app on my iPhone. Now I'm testing it'a potency.  

Here's a test pic. 

IMG_0304.JPG

I gotta say, I'm not hating it. I love typing on my Surface Pro 4 but I'm using my phone more and more these days to take notes and write thoughts.  

This could be a good way to be more consistent with my posts going forward. Consistency will forever be a thorn for me. 

Ruby is One Whole Year Old Today!

Ruby is One Whole Year Old Today!

Today my amazing lil' niece Ruby turns 1 whole year old.

She's adorable.....take my word for it! My sister doesn't want her picture spread across the Internet and I don't blame her. Ruby will have plenty of time for that shit when she's 3. 

Fuck I'm old

I'm 39, not that old. And honestly, I feel better than I did when I was in my 20's....true story. I don't have any children yet and as the years scream by I wonder if it's the best thing for me.

I should probably start with a partner first. 

For now, it's not a reality but I do hope that some day it can be. I'm not thrilled thinking of my 50 or older self with a toddler or pre-teen but, as others tell me, the joys of having kids will put that into perspective......we'll see.

For now, I'm starting an IRA for Ruby. What will be her first investment? Will she even be using Facebook when she's of age? Will Snapchat rule the world? Will there be some Artificially Intelligent network ruling children's hearts and minds? Maybe she'll be sending holograms of herself to her friends Princess Leah style! 

There is no telling...... 

I should have grabbed her some Tesla a few months back! All time highs today!! 

The Testing Ground

The Testing Ground

Operation_Teapot_-_MET_(Military_Effects_Test).jpg

I have been thinking that I really want to change the K & E Sheet Metal website. Maybe even making the site a blog style homepage where there is a stream of day to day content rather than a static style page.

There is really no risk to the change. We are a duct work manufacturing company and the website is not a place where many people venture randomly. When they go there it's usually for specific information. All visitors will continue to get that information but maybe in a more interesting way. And, quite possibly, in a more annoying way. 

Hence the testing ground. Or at least a place to try a few things out. I am a visual person and I learn best from mistakes. I'd rather make those mistakes here for a bit before moving them to the business page. 

I will use my personal website, which has been dormant/hardly started for some time now and I am paying Squarespace for essentially no reason to keep this site. I want this to change. 

What I really want is to update this regularly will all kinds of things. My problem is consistency. Whenever I get the itch to write and share it fades as quickly as it came. I get lost in the busy-ness of the work day and don't take the time to focus.

I spend a lot of time writing a journal for therapy, helping work through many of my anxieties. I haven't been able to let myself bleed publicly and that's something I want to change. I've been to this point blogging so many times before, only to be swatted down by my own inability to be true. I'm finding it hard to move forward in my life without those abilities.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
— Ernest Hemingway

Therefore, I will try once more. This will be my testing ground to start, warts and all. Everything from design of the site to what the content is. I don't want to fill the company website with junk and missteps just yet. The ability to bleed is something I'm still working on.

Awwww. I miss Bananas.

Awwww. I miss Bananas.

Stumbled upon this guy last night, forgetting even posting it  to YouTube.

Every time I see a pic or vid with my ol' pal Bananas I wish to the heavens I had adopted another cat.

Toby Dog could learn a thing or two from this dude. Miss ya pal!

The Overwhelming Sense of a Simple Photograph

The Overwhelming Sense of a Simple Photograph

There is something about going through old photos that brings your senses full throttle. The ability of a simple snapshot to compel so many emotions is amazing to me. 

Scouring an old hard drive yesterday, each and every photo seemed to conjure a distinct sense. There are those obvious emotions that come roaring back with each passing photograph but, the peak of my senses interested me the most. 

What continued to surprise me as I flipped around was an overwhelming sense of smells, even taste from that particular time came flooding back. What surrounded me visually at the time of the photo came into focus. I could port myself back to the time and place when the picture was originally taken. Smell the same smells I remembered when they happened, hear the people around me or the silence and peace I may have felt. 

The picture above was my first day of therapy roughly 3 years ago. I have no idea why I took the picture but, I can feel my nervous stomach turn as I sit there waiting, wondering what this experience will be like. The 1920's home where I go for sessions breeds an old, musty stink that I could smell again the moment I came across the photo.

We all---me especially--- bitch and moan about our cell phones not working properly or that they're too slow right when we need them most. We get frustrated, take for granted the technologies we have at our disposal. The amazing resources we as humans have invented in such a short period of time is insane.

Remember, not too long ago you would have to carry a cumbersome camera everywhere to capture a tiny percentage of the memories we snap today. The ability for everyone, young and old, to capture so many moments, in so many places is mind boggling. We all must try and not take for granted the immense ability of documentation this life gives us for future generations. 

It's pretty fucking cool to utilize the technology we have today. 

Louis CK, as usual, is right on point about the amazing world we get to live in and how we take much of it for granted. 

Moving Into My New Digital Home

Moving Into My New Digital Home

Lately, I have been wrestling with how best to deal with my company versus personal website conundrum. 

Having a personal blog on the company website is seeming increasingly dumb and unnecessary. Yeah, the business is my life and I am my business but, that doesn't mean people navigating to my corporate site give a shit what I'm watching on TV or listening to musically these days. 

Therefore, today I am moving into my new digital home, kraymo.com!!

Right now you are standing in the blog room. Peek up at the top right corner, click "Home" and you can check out the front-of-house. This is what you will see as you walk into the foyer of my glorious space.  I also started a Band of The Day Page which, with the help of Spotify, will keep my music discovery fetish cleansed. 

I like the web, I like blogging, I like web design and ever changing web based technologies. I enjoy playing with the new and improved. I've got my own server running so I can try and learn server side languages as well but, it's not the place to house my own stuff just yet. I don't get much time to mess around with serving, so keeping a personal site up and running on my own machine, at this point, seems futile. 

I like Wordpress and have used it in the past but, not as much as Squarespace, which is what I used to create our K & E Sheet Metal LLC website. My personal site will also be housed here under the Squarespace umbrella.

I wanted to be silo-free but, I'm just not there yet.

Squarespace tops the list for many reasons. Here are 3 of my core motives. 

  1. No other web builder is easier to use. TRUTH.
  2. I can blog from my iPhone 6+ with ease. Wordpress has an app as well. Squarespace's is better.
  3. Integration with social media, analytics, marketing and commerce are fantastic. I hate Wordpress's Jetpack....boo!

Yes, the price point is a little higher. You get what you pay for.

Yes, Wordpress is able to be loaded on your own server which is easily accomplished through MANY hosting companies. For whatever reason though, none of these facts have kept me hooked to Wordpress like so many other users. Squarespace it is.

You may ask, why would I need my own website?

There are so many social media and blogging options. What the hell would a nobody like me need with his own website? Just use social media like everyone else!

Well, I despise Facebook but, I do have a page. I never scroll through my feed, it's just there so I know when friends are having a BBQ. I deleted my site for a time a couple years ago and everyone thought I died.  The only thing I do with Facebook is send out my posts or instagrams. I rarely navigate to the site..

Honestly, I would love to visit my friends' own websites instead of social media but, I don't see that happening anytime soon. I like Instagram---even though it's owned by Facebook---, love Twitter and, believe it or not, kinda like Ello

I fancy (I'm using like too much) having a place to promote myself in case I decide to venture off down other business avenues in the future. A digital resume if you will. I enjoy the freedom of making whatever changes I want; having a sister site and helping drive traffic to the company website intrigues me as well. 

I like to write, mostly privately and not all that well. My interests in music, TV, sports and media make me want to put stuff out there, even if it's not the best right from jump. Like everyone, I have opinions and want to voice them now and then. I just like the freedom of posting it in my own hub. A central place that will change with my tastes and lifestyle.

Plus, keeping up with all of it will keep my mind off the things I usually free up for depression and anxiety. 

The biggest reason is clear to me

I have issues with being myself. Like I mentioned, self-confidence and anxiety plague my days and I need a place, that's not social media, where I can say whatever the fuck I want, when I want. A place I can write long form drivel if I want and you the reader can click a link to read or not. You don't have to see anything but a picture and link pass in your news feed. You don't have to be inundated with a mass of words. You can click the link or not, it's up to you.

Yeah, you could hide me in the feed but, I'm hoping you might want to read whatever bullshit I may have written and hey, maybe one day, start your own website rather than giving every bit of information to Facebook. 

What's next

I hope to migrate a lot of the content I have elsewhere on the web over to this site in the near future. My schizophrenic brain has been starting and stopping blogs for years. I'm realizing the commingling of business and personal web presence can get overwhelming and confusing very quickly.

This is the fun part for me. Building, moving, rearranging, adding, deleting. Just a few other reasons I like my own space.

Time to organize this shit!